I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
