I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
