think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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