Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
