Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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