i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
