I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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