Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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