I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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