I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
