My liver just broke up with me...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just had sex on a roof
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
