they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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