that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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