i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize