how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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