You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
