My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
