Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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