Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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