The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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