Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
