She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
