When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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