Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
