Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
