Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
