guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
