did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
