I have demons in me.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
