ugly people sure do ruin things
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
