my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
