They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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