I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
