Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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