the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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