READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
