I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
