I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
