Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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