Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
