google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
