you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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