Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
