You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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