my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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