do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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