her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
