I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize