Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
