So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
