Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I lost the right to judge tonight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
