BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
