"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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