So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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