I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
