Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
