Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize