i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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