I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
